Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Teen Talk Tuesday – A Man’s View on Modesty

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From what I understand and have read (I have one daughter who is 2 so I don’t have experience yet) modesty is a rather interesting and sometimes volatile subject with teens. Parents have their old fashioned opinions, which predate dinosaurs and are so not cool, and teens, well, seem to know everything. Both sides can have some reasonable arguments and both sides can be so way off the deep end. But in order to truly understand the subject and be able to navigate this issue we absolutely have to look to God’s word for answers. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”


We do not have ownership of our bodies, God does. He purchased them on Calvary with the blood of His son Jesus Christ. He has the deed to us and because of this our aim in life should be to do everything we can to honor our King.
In this post I hope I am able to give you a clear view on the issue of modesty (not just ramble on causing your eyes to glaze over) from the perspective of a guy who has been wired like most guys living and breathing today, but also a guy who desperately wants to be more like Christ and throw off this flesh. As Ephesians 4:22-24 says
“22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”


I will make some generalizations about men, not all men are wired exactly the same way. However, as a general rule most guys are wired similarly and these rules can be applied. Guys are wired to be visually stimulated, that’s why most people you see addicted to video games are guys. This doesn’t mean that all guys are perverts, but it does mean that you need to be aware of this natural tendency of men. It’s why women are so often cautioned about what they wear. If you are dressing a certain way and attracting men you don’t necessarily care for there is a reason for that.


What girls wear may be getting them attention, but it is a short lived feeling where they are being loved not for who they are but for how they look. A guy is attracted to what is being advertised and as soon as he gets what he wants he breaks a girl’s heart because he stops giving her the attention and love she desires. If a godly man sees a woman who loves God and is seeking to honor Him in her life that is what will attract the guy to her. If a self-centered man who is only after what his flesh desires sees a woman who is advertising her physical features he will gravitate towards her.


A young lady who truly desires to be loved for who she is will not attract the right guy to her if she is advertising the wrong thing. When going to see a movie at the theatre you don’t see advertisements for car insurance, you see them for popcorn and coke, the theatres know what their audience wants and they provide it.
If your audience is God advertise for Him, give Him your heart and your attention and He will in turn give you the love and security you desire. If your audience is man, then the “love” you experience from the wrong kind of attention will pass quickly leaving you longing for more attention and always thirsty. Only God can truly satisfy our longings to be loved.


True love is found when you “fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.” By focusing on Christ your aim in life is to please Him. In pleasing Him you will not desire the things of the flesh and dressing to please other people. When you live for Christ it advertises to true Godly men that you are a princess and protected by the king, which will cause them to know if they want to marry you then they will have to take their faith very seriously. This is the love that truly lasts.
Secret Keeper Girl is a website devoted to helping girls dress modestly.

  Mike and Alison worked with Campus Crusade here in PA for many years.  They now live in CO with their two children Ben and Faith.  They are expecting their third child in the Spring of 2011.  Thanks Mike for joining us, and helping by giving a godly man’s point of view on these important topics. 

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