Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Teen Talk Tuesday–True Love Waits

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I originally posted this for Valentine’s Day of 2009.  I have changed a few things to update it for today.  I pray that you will share these truths with every teen you know and impress upon parents hearts to be sure their sons and daughters know how deeply they are loved.  Not to mention how perfect His plan is for them – that is TRUE LOVE IS WORTH WAITING FOR!

In a few months, millions around the world will be celebrating Valentine's Day. The sad part of this holiday is that teens are worrying about who their Valentine is and even younger worrying about if this boy or girl likes them.  This Hallmark holiday about love has gotten so far stretched that the expectation placed upon our husbands is well - wrong.  Where does the bible say we should hold such high standards for man-made holidays?  So much so that we often are left with huge disappointment when we don't get flowers, gifts, cards, chocolates, dinner out, etc.  I have been one of those wives who romanticized this holiday for years and would dread it coming - and put so much pressure on my husband that of course he didn't even want to try to meet the expectation I was setting. I don't blame him.  Bless his heart, he still even with all that I have done wrong over the years wants to love on me with a surprise on Valentine’s Day {however, he loves to surprise me just because he loves me – and guess what I like that so much better than because of a holiday!}. No matter what it is - big or small it doesn't matter. What matters is that he loves me daily and puts our love above all else. No gift can replace or match that! In God's eyes - love is not about one day or evening. It is a commandment that we are to love one another - to esteem others greater than ourselves - to love our neighbors - to love God with all of our heart, mind and soul. I digress. Sorry!


I read a friends blog last year on this topic, and what she shared is something I feel so strongly about that I want to share it with all of you.  I have taught about this before to my teen girl bible study, but never in this depth or length. We as Christians have gotten caught up in what the world views about love and dating.  We have put God's standards and word behind what is now "normal" for the year 2010. I believe God speaks very clearly on this topic...you see - God says -


The bible is very clear about God's views on marriage, purity and what to do to remain pure until the day we are betrothed.

1 Peter 1:16 says , " you shall be holy, FOR I AM HOLY."

God has a plan for each of us and our children. From the beginning of creating us in our mother's wombs - God knows who we will marry, how many children we will have, what we will grow up to be like, etc.

This is what I commented on my friends blog:
As I think you know I taught a teen girl bible study monthly in our home. I taught the very principles of what you shared and our daughter who is 16 has NO desire to date at all.  She is so excited to know God is grooming her husband that He hand selected for her - she doesn't want to ruin one part of that process.  We have taught her that she is like a gift - a box with the most amazing wrapping paper on the outside -

that gets his attention but what he really is waiting to open, no one else gets to see but him - her heart is all for him - her mind, body and soul are for him too. If she keeps giving that away before she meets him - what is left for him to open on their wedding day will be like a rotten apple, half eaten and smelly. Who wants to eat from a half eaten rotten apple?

I am surprised by the number of Christian teens who are “dating”.   I was talking to a teen boy a few weeks ago and he shared with me how his friends feel about dating and how far they are willing to go {be intimate} and still say they are pure.  What I tried to impress on this young mans heart is that is the lie of the enemy who wants their marriages to begin with a blemish – or to use my previous analogy a huge bite out of their apple.  I explained how holding hands is intimate.  How giving away your first kiss steals that gift from your future wife on your wedding day.  How touching in any way steals what is meant for your future spouse and marriage too.   He listened intently.  I pray daily for him and his friends to remain strong in the truth and protect what is meant for their spouse one day.  

True Love Waits is just as important for guys.  

We are raising our sons to protect our daughters and any girls they meet – to keep them from giving away a part of their hearts, mind and body meant for their future spouses.  We have a few years to go before they are teens – which gives us time to train them to be gentlemen as young boys!   Which I truly believe is when we need to begin teaching them the importance of waiting on God.   Sharing His truths about the beauty of waiting on God’s best for them.   Training them to protect their minds and how to handle the temptations all around them.   We as their parents have a responsibility to protect them from all the traps on a computer too.  We have every computer set with *net nanny* and it will not even let them see inappropriate photos by accident, let alone get onto any site that could cause them to stumble.  

When I shared the analogy of the apple with Lexi and the teen girls I cried and cried and cried...because like many of you I didn't know and was never told to wait.  Nor was I told God's feelings on dating.  I want to cover every teen girl so deeply in His love and truth that the gift they can offer to their husband is the sweet aroma of Christ!

Just like this picture below - you can't see who he is - but you trust he is out there. You dream about what he will look like, talk like, what his job will be, how many children you might have and he is dreaming about if you will be his biggest cheerleader, respect him even when he makes mistakes, love him through the tough times, take care of him, cook for him and desire to keep your home a safe haven for him.  Both of the dreams are what God places in our hearts as young women and men. 

Because God made us for different purposes - one to protect and provide - love and honor and one to help/support - love and respect...for good or for bad, in sickness and in health till death do you part.

I was thinking about the clip in the movie Nativity Story - when Joseph and Mary are "engaged" - how Joseph was able to provide for Mary, care for her, build a house for her, and give her a good name.  Joseph was not a boy with some silly dreams, nor was he off day dreaming or playing games all day, nor was he lazy. Mary was not a child either and her mind was fixed on God first.  Both of them trusted and followed the word God spoke to their hearts - without question. They put their fears aside and trusted God. That takes maturity, wisdom and the desire to put someone else above yourself.  They didn't date and there was never a discussion by her parents of what age she could do so.  You see this picture below is God asking each of our children and teens we know to trust Him.  Don't look around for who I'm working on for you - trust Me and when the time is right I will bring you, the perfect mate.

Together I want to build a realistic idea of marriage for our children. A realistic expectation of what it means till death do us part. What it means to trust God in the midst of trials and storms - not to give up but to ask God for the help you need to see your way through them. Not to depend on the world or anything it throws at you and to never seek what it says is worth something. God speaks clearly about us not fitting in once we choose to be a child of His - that we are to turn away from the things of this world and not strive to be like the world.  We are to renew our minds and allow His word to transform us daily - moment by moment seeking to die more to self and be alive in Christ!

His love is life and breaths joy, peace and rest into our hearts and homes. His love is perfect and casts out all fear! His love endures forever, will never fail us and always protect us. His love is so great for us that He was willing to be 100% obedient to His Father and carry His cross to Calvary and die on it for each of us.

Every person alive today is offered His love - the most amazing love there is - perfect, holy and pure. Love that wants the best for us! Love that never stops! Love that sees us through the eyes of God - that although our sins clothe us in scarlet - He sees us as white as snow! Love that offers grace and mercy - every time we mess up! Love that is 100% truth and faithful! Love that doesn't keep records of our wrongs and is quick to forgive! Love that is selfless! Love that is gentle and kind always! Love that will give you strength in times of weakness! Love that will lift up your hands and strengthen your feeble knees! Love that will open the eyes of your heart to a life you never dared to dream and will bless your socks off every time you time you trust your heart to His plans and love for you!


This kind of love I speak of is worthy to chase after and wanting more of! This kind of love is the legacy we want to leave behind for our children. Not ours but His - that never fails them and is always there in abundance. Today, if you are reading this and have yet to experience this kind of love in your life, home, marriage or relationships - please email me and I will walk you right to most amazing love affair you could ever imagine. It is not in a box of chocolates - yummy as they are! It is not found in a card, flowers or a dinner. This love affair is with the most amazing man to ever live and is alive right now waiting for you to fall madly in love with Him - so He can carry every care, every burden and every need you may ever have - and love you while you trust in Him to do every single thing He promises.


Parents please take the time to listen to this sermon and share it with your husband - it is worth the time - there is no greater investment than the one we all make in our marriages and children. Click here to begin listening or save the link to listen later. After listening, I pray you will share it with your teen children - let His truth set you and your family free from the worlds view on dating! Pray about sharing it with your Pastors and Youth Pastors and leaders.

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