Friday, April 27, 2012

Freedom to LOVE!

Right Where I am..

He meets me.

He holds no grudge.

His arms are always open.

His love waiting to spill through my veins and give me life.

His grace to give me strength to do what I must.

To love as I did when I chose to answer Him yes.

My love has left us all dry.  Empty.   My well was left without a drop to spare.

He allowed me to get to the very bottom so that I would realize I had nothing to give if it is NOT Him alone that I am giving.

The land in which I have walked and brought our children to is barren.

I was trying to feed them the little scraps of love I could muster up.   I was trying to heal their pain through the weakness of my own that I have carried from learning their stories.  Stories of loss, hurt, lies, abandonment, rejection, and neglect.

Deep wounds need way more than a shallow fix.

They need what I can’t give.   Nor do I have the keys to unlock the pain they are holding onto.

For so long I thought this journey was just about fixing them, healing them, and doing things to make them better.

This has been all about healing the deepest places of my soul to love without walls, and to give Him before I reach for my tools that are shattered and broken. Only after walking through the deepest valley I dared to go this past week, did I see what this journey has really been about - FREEDOM!

Love is the ultimate sacrifice and it is what set us all free from the bondage of our sins.  

One choice and step at a time.

Cute photo

I don’t have to walk hoping His love will be enough, or worry that it won’t hold me up.   I can trust that He has already gone before me and has already given me everything I need to trust in Him to fill me to overflowing with His love.

I don’t have to guess what would Jesus do?   I know the answer.   He would give up everything to love another – to set them free and give what nothing else in this world every could – the FREEDOM to love no matter what.

I have let go of yesterday.   I no longer see the pain of yesterday.   Instead I see the hope in this day and what awaits each of them tomorrow.  

I have stopped holding onto what went wrong and instead choosing to see what went right.  

I may never live the life I imagined and it may not turn out as I had planned.   And that is OK.

I have the exact life God designed for me.  

 

- cs lewis

When their pain gets to be too much for me to handle, and floods through these walls.   I need not worry or try to run away from it.   I have the lover of my soul on my side and He is standing firmly on theirs as well.  

I have the freedom to love.  

I have been set free from the truth.

His love is more than enough.   He sacrificed heaven and willingly gave it all – for each of us to have the FREEDOM TO LOVE.

No matter what you are facing today.   No matter how hard your situation seems and hopeless – never forget there is always hope.   It will all work out – it always does.    This too shall pass.   His grace is enough.   He will never leave you, nor forsake you.   With God, all things are possible.   No problem is too big or too hard for God.   He has already gone before you and knows the way…trust Him and hold His hand as He leads you every step of the way to freedom.   Keep seeking truth and relish in it!   Rejoice in every bit of freedom you are given along the way and only look back to see just how far you have come.

Today, take 15 minutes to write down all the things about your family and friends that you are grateful for – all the things they do that fill you up and remind you that love is more than a feeling – it is a choice to sacrifice.  

I want to share a few posts with you that have been shared with me – all in His perfect timing to show me how I am NOT alone in walking out the pain of adoption.

My precious friend Sara has a way with words that always leave me walking away a better person:

Love, Unnaturally

Fierce Love

I don’t know Jen personally but I know her heart from what she has shared here and it is good for the soul.  

Wishing you all a beautifully blessed weekend!

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