I can’t believe three weeks have passed since my feet were being washed over by the waves coming and going…
While the kids all played around me and swam in front of me, I stood there doing what I have always loved to do…having my feet sink deeper and deeper into the sand with every wave that pulls back out to sea.
During our vacation I had plenty of time to think about the tides of change coming my way. They seem to change pretty drastically with every new season the last few years. So, I shouldn’t have been surprised by the intensity in which things were changing once again.
I listened quietly as my husband shared his plans with me for his business and the PhD program he is working to finish. With every conversation we had, a stirring deep within me grew to be still and let this all play out. But as I was letting it all play out, God was busy changing more things that I thought were all in place.
What I was hearing from Him was not lined up with my plans. What happened the last year wasn’t in my plans either. But God. My two favorite words ever!!! You see my plans and His plans have yet to be perfectly matched up. Yet, in the end I find my way running right towards His plan and truly surrendering my own.
Today, I’m doing just that. In order to be fully present and commit to the plans God has for my husband for this year. I must be willing to lay down my photography business. In some ways laying it down has been the hardest thing I have done in a long time. Every sunset I captured on our vacation was such a gift to my soul – photography has given me the greatest gift ever – I see and find God where I least expect Him to show up!
These are all SOOC without any filter. I set my wb using Kelvin. Each sunset is shown as I saw it live.
Yet, in the 18 months I have been open for business since moving to Virginia not one person contacted me for a portrait session. Nor has anyone contacted me for a beauty session after almost 2,000 people watched my I AM BEAUTIFUL PROJECT video since late June. Which made everything painfully clear, that my plan and His were definitely not matching up! No amount of talent, extensive training, mastering to find the light and capture it, proper white balance for all situations, and ensuring I have the best SOOC every time is enough when God is not blessing where you are using your gift and talents or spending your time.
So the decision was made final this past weekend after dropping our oldest off at college, that I would shut down my business and once again simply enjoy the gift of photography for me. Where I get lost in capturing the beauty and extraordinary moments in my life. For now, they will just be my own and telling the story of each passing season the way I see it through my lens! I will share them here as I have for the last three years and I hope you continue to join me as God clearly has a pretty special story to tell about these amazing nine blessings!
In the end, surrendering a business can’t touch the gift I receive when I am able to make time stand still as I did above for our children to cherish for generations to come!
For my beloved, I’d give up the world to watch him come to life doing what he was definitely created to do…to seek the truth, know the truth, and live it out every day of his life!
I may be losing a small piece of me as the business closes, but what I am gaining is priceless!
I giggled as this verse popped up in my pinterest feed the other day…
Oh how the WORD is simply the TRUTH, the LIFE, and the WAY!
As one door is clearly closing, God is always faithful to open a new one. I’m beginning to put my thoughts down about The Call to Surrender and would love to share it with all of you. One day I hope it will be a book for many to dive deeply into the heart of God for each of us…where we can know Him, love Him, and surrender it all, because He gave it all!
PS I will be changing things around a bit here as I figure out how I want to present my personal photography journey with all of you. Please excuse the changes as I work that out! OH and if you live near N. VA and are interested in buying any of my studio equipment, props, etc. please email me right away. I’m selling tons of stuff and can email you a complete list. Thanks again for sticking with me on this crazy, amazing, exciting, exhausting, and always extraordinary adventure – we call our life!