Friday, July 26, 2013

Moving Forward {Saying Good-Bye to Anger}

For the first time in over twelve weeks I was able to be still.

Truly and completely letting go of anger, fear, frustration, and worry from the very core of my soul.

My soul has longed to touch the sweetness of peace.  

Where my mind and body become one and stop fighting against the other.

All photos were taken on my Samsung Galaxy S4 with no edits – they are SOOC.

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It happened.   I have arrived to the place where I have found not just moments - by days filled with sustaining peace.

We moved to the very heartbeat of all that I am. 

I am home.   Exactly where I am meant to be.  

 

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This place is the calm to every storm that has come our way. 

This place is life, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, laughter, and love.

From the first glimpse of each dawning day to the first star at night fall, this place astounds me with its beauty.

 

sunsetwisps

 

Simple and pure.

Powerful and true.

 

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It’s in the moments where stillness holds me that I have found the courage, strength, and desire to move forward.

Pain and anger will not be my guide. 

Beauty and love will.

Every step I take towards healing and forgiving, is a ripple of life washing me clean of all bitterness, resentment, and the need to control the outcome.

 

ripples

 

The last year, last three months, last three weeks, and yesterday will not hold us back from the life we have set out to live.  

It will not strip us of the joy we have clung to or the peace we have known.

It will not be a noose around our necks. 

Rather it will be the reason we learn to surrender more.   Forgive endlessly.  Live fully.   Love radically.   

Moving forward…leaving all that will not give us wings to fly, behind.  

 

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Moving forward means finding a new normal.  

It will take us looking for comfort and healing in the simple things of life that are constant and true.

 

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Which from where I stand is anything but difficult.  

Every night the sky turns into the most majestic paintings.    Rain or shine the sky never disappoints my longing heart for rest.

It always draws me in and leaves me breathless.  

The river carries away the pain I have held onto and allows me to walk away feeling lighter and freer.  Night after night.

 

sunsetgorge

 

I have found myself.

Once again, my heart is beating with peace and hope.

My mind is able to dream about what tomorrow holds.

My soul is able to rejoice in all that is good and wonderful.

My eyes are able to see past the pain and look joy deep in the eyes without looking away!

My ears can hear the sounds of life calling me and I can answer them with a bold and courageous, “I’m right here and ready to live!”

 

myview

 

I have said good-bye to anger.  It had been my safety net for long enough.  It served me well (or so I fooled myself into thinking) as I struggled to face the reality of the truth laid out before me.  

But as a wise friend said, "Anger feels so much better than sadness – anger is powerful, sorrow is terrifying.
Anger feels like control.  If deep grief, fear, and sorrow come to the surface, those feelings may never stop and that is terrifying. Can you relate to that? I can."
  (Lisa Qualls)

Sorrow may leave me weak and weary, but it allows me to surrender to what I have zero control over and can’t fix.

Admitting that brought forth forgiveness.   Admitting that brought forth the ability to take just one more step.  

Once I was willing to move forward – I was once again able to touch and breathe in love as I once did. 

As I move forward, the sorrow brings with it a greater sense of truth and wisdom into every moment.

For I have walked through the valley of death and have carried with me the greatest lesson of all – grace is more than enough. 

It will sustain me when nothing else can.   It will guide me when I am too blind to see.   It will call to me when I can hear nothing but the deafening sounds of sorrow.   It will carry me when my body can not bear to walk another step ahead.   It will whisper to me when I have forgotten to listen for that calming voice.   It will continue to pour in love when I have nothing left to give.   Grace is more than enough.

Moving forward has been a choice.   I could have remained in the pain and sorrow.    But that would have left me empty and dry.   Surely with all that He has given me I couldn’t deny taking one step closer to all that is ahead of me. 

Please be still with me now….soak in everything the next sunset has for you.    Allow it to remind you that there is beauty all around you.  There is hope.  There is peace.  There is joy.   There is life.   I pray you choose life today and forgive whatever it is that must be forgiven.   Don’t let anything stop you from having the courage to take one more step and then another.   Choose to breathe in deeply and exhale all that is waiting to be let go.    It takes great courage to forgive and yet the rewards of forgiveness are unending. 

 

wowsunset

 

And as I soak in all that awaits me, I find myself feeling very hopeful about moving forward knowing that everything will be OK.   Because I know these words to be true….BUT GOD!

With Him all things are possible.  Some how.  Some way.  Right on time.   Even through the most unbearable circumstances He is right there working things out for those who love Him.   I maybe forgot that, but He surely has not forgotten me.

 

meblue

 

I look forward to sharing all that He has for us – starting with today.   Because today is the best place to keep choosing to live this life fully without holding a single grudge, allowing resentment or bitterness to overtake our hearts, or stop us from freely giving and receiving love!

 

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Wishing you all a beautiful and blessed weekend!

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Coming next week before and after sneak peaks throughout our home. 

4 comments:

  1. Beautiful! (Both the photos and the blogging.) :-)

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  2. So beautifully written...thank you, Jill.

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  3. I found myself sighing as I read your words. I love the photo of you sitting in your yellow jeans. You look peaceful! Anger holds us back. I read once that anger turned inward results in depression. It is wonderful that we get to give it all to the Lord. I want to live that way in the peace that only He can give to us. Beautiful post my friend.

    Love you,
    Debbie

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  4. Echoing what the others have said, but *beautiful* is the word that comes to mind. Thank you for sharing your heart, Jill!

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